Monday, March 3, 2008

Frustration

DISCLAIMER: THIS POST INCLUDES NOTHING MORE THAN MY FRUSTRATIONS. IF ANYONE DOES NOT WANT TO WASTE THEIR TIME READING MY COMPLAINTS THEN YOU NEED TO QUIT READING RIGHT NOW.

I just started the process of consolidating my private loans with my public loans. I owe nearly $100,000.00. The average interest rate on those loans is about 7%, which means every year I add around $7,000.00 to that already mammoth number. In order to pay it off in 10 years and only accumulate about $50,000.00 in interest I have to make at least $1,000.00 payments each month, which at this point is basically impossible. Thus, everyday as I watch my debt grow, like one of those jackpot signs in a casino, I feel completely helpless to control it. As these feelings of helplessness come over me I wonder whether it was a mistake for me to go to law school. Now I absolutely love my job and am incredibly content with what I do every day. And I consider myself very blessed to have a Juris Doctor degree. Nonetheless, I think it might have been a mistake.

I always thought that by going to law school I would be able to provide for my family in ways that I could not with a Bachelor's degree. I knew it would be expensive, but I told myself that I could have the loans paid off in no time; after all I would be a lawyer. But it has been nearly one year since I graduated from law school and I have not been able to make any payments. It frustrates me that I cannot make payments on my loans. It frustrates me that I am going to pay so much money in interest. It frustrates me that I am still renting. If frustrates me that we have to plan six months ahead in order to save money to buy a birthday cake for one of our kids birthdays. It frustrates me that we can only survive paycheck to paycheck if we borrow money from my little brother. It frustrates me that we cannot save any money for our future or for our children's future. And thus, amid all this frustration I cannot help but wonder, was it a huge mistake for me to go to law school? Would not my family have been better off had I chosen not to go?

4 comments:

Rammells said...

Here are my suggestions:

http://wyomingbar.org/job_bank/find_job.html?id=196

http://wyomingbar.org/job_bank/find_job.html?id=198

More money, closer to Utah, why not?

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but as a mother I need to tell you that things could be worse. Are your kids not all healthy and happy? Do you have a wonderful, supportive, not to mention awesomely beautiful wife? Have you not learned things in law school that will help you through the rest of your life? Your kids are still young and you have plenty of time to buy a house and plan their future schooling. Enjoy the moment!!! But the sooner you get out of Lexington the better for us all!!!!!!!!!!

Matt said...

You'll be making more money soon, not in Nebraska but elsewhere. I have to agree with your post, for the first time in our marriage we are living pay check to pay check. Hopefully it will be for our own good.

Hang in. And I'll keep sending you Colorado jobs.

Lacy said...

Hey Carl and Ericka,

I am stalking you guys through Brooke's blog! I have to agree with your wise mama! You have a beautiful, healthy family and things will get better. It takes time. See you guys,

cousin Lacy